Adoption: Information for Families

Adoption: Information for Families

Are you a birth parent considering an adoption plan for your baby?

Do you have questions about how the adoption process works? Are you scared or worried about making a plan for your baby? This is not a decision you need to make on your own. There are people who have been there and understand the weight of this, and are available to walk alongside you. It’s okay to reach out for support.

Start by finding someone who understands, cares, and has information that can help you:

Are you thinking about growing your family through adoption?

There are so many reasons to adopt, each of them raising different questions and considerations, none of them simple. It can be hard to even know where to start the conversation. The decision to adopt, comes with both excitement and trepidation. Is this the best option? Are we as a couple on the same page? Do we need to work through concerns before reaching a decision? What is the process like?

If you are considering adoption, reach out to organizations that can provide you with some answers and help guide you through the process:

Are you in the process of adopting?

The process is both exciting and overwhelming. The paperwork, the preparation, the lack of control, the anticipation, the waiting….it’s just all too much sometimes. How can you make the transition a healthy one? It’s worth talking about, and investing in.

Check out these resources:

 Are you an adoptive parent?

It’s impossible to anticipate all the joys and challenges unique to adoption. When they arrive, it’s amazing how much impact they have on our lives. Did you know that recent surveys found that up to 32% of adoptive parents experience depression? Challenges around adjustment, forming healthy attachment, understanding your child’s emerging needs, and facing a flood of pressures and hard questions during the early years, can make it a surprisingly difficult time for families. Unfortunately, many feel they would look ungrateful or incapable if they reached out for support. It’s normal to struggle. It’s so important not to go it alone, for your whole family’s sake.

Counselling can be an opportunity for adoptive parents, birth parents and their children, to explore their unique experiences, to finding healing and growth, and to thrive. Adoption is about love, commitment and courage. And it’s complicated. It’s okay to reach out for support and seek wellness for you and your family.

Here’s where to start.

Ask yourself some important questions:

  • Are you feeling overwhelmed by the process of adoption? Does it leave you feeling unable to keep up with the rest of life’s demands?
  • Do you feel deep sadness or loss that might be impacting your decisions?
  • Do you feel isolated, have unresolved trauma, or feel depressed or anxious?
  • Do you feel guilty for being less excited or joyful than you thought you’d be after having adopted your child?
  • Do you have enough understanding and supportive people in your life?
  • Are you, your family or your child having difficulties adjusting after adoption?
  • Does it feel difficult to bond with your child?
  • Have birth order or sibling dynamics become concerning?
  • Does your child have needs you feel unable to meet?
  • Are you struggling with how to connect with your child’s birth family?
  • Are you facing questions about race, culture or sexual identity that you feel unable to address effectively?

Find someone to speak with who has the information and skills needed to help you. Don’t go it alone. Consider reaching out for support:

  • Speak with your family doctor if you are concerned about feelings of depression or anxiety
  • A Home for Every Child: https://www.homeforeverychild.org/
  • ThriveLife Counselling & Wellness: https://thrive-life.ca/. If you’ve tried counselling before, and it wasn’t a good fit, don’t give up – there are several counsellors with different styles of practice available. Be clear about what’s important to you in a counsellor, and seek out a good match.
  • Pacific Post Partum Support Society: http://postpartum.org/
  • Do some reading to help you understand where you’re at. Books like The Post Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption, by Karen Foli PhD & John Thompson MD, can help you put words to what you’re experiencing and give some direction for how to get through it.
About the Author
Adoption: Information for Families

Karen Peters

Counsellor with ThriveLife Counselling & Wellness. Find out more about her counselling work here.