Russ Harris The Happiness Trap- Second Edition
“Being human hurts. In our short time on this planet we’ll have many moments of marvel, wonder and joy — but also many of angst, dread and despair. We’ll know the highs of love, connection and friendship — but also the lows of loneliness, rejection and loss. We’ll experience the delights of success, victory and achievement — but also the miseries of failure, defeat and disappointment. In other words: life is difficult.”
So how do we effectively deal with our most difficult thoughts, feelings, memories and emotions without becoming so consumed, so stuck, so flooded and so miserable that we begin to miss out on what truly matters? What would it feel like to stop avoiding, fighting, being hijacked, bossed around by our difficult thoughts, feelings, memories or emotions? Then get listening or reading so that you can get out of your mind and back into your life.
The Happiness Trap Audible (2nd Edition) provides a down to earth, practical guide, with valuable insights, tools and exercises based on the psychological principles of Acceptance Commitment Theory (ACT). Russ Harris explains that “The aim of ACT is to maximise human potential for a rich, full and meaningful life; to cultivate health, vitality and well-being through mindful values-based living”.
ACT has been used successfully for treating a variety of mental health struggles such as anxiety, depression, chronic pain, grief and loss, stress, substance use, relationship issues, guilt and shame, and hopelessness, self-doubt to name but a few.
The audiobook is essentially divided into 3 parts. First, Russ sets us up to get a better understanding of why the human mind finds it difficult to be happy. He uses metaphors and humor to help listeners understand “Why” the human mind has evolved over time to be so cruel and harsh in its quest to keep us “safe”. The mind through evolution has us judging ourselves, others and the world, inevitably keeping us “stuck” , “hooked” or “avoiding” or “obeying” our unhelpful stories or narratives like a suit of armour.
Russ Harris creatively describes that our modern mind is like a “Reason making machine ” providing us with all of the “shoulds” and“ shouldn’ts” based on our anxieties, past experiences and fears. The brain has evolved to avoid the uncomfortable, inevitably keeping us stuck and unhappy. He introduces “The Choice Point” which is a visual tool in ACT that helps us see when our difficult thoughts and feelings have us moving towards our values or have us moving away from our values. This can be a useful tool and concept when we feel like we are stuck and being swept away from our values and away from doing what
matters to us most.
In the second section of the audiobook, Russ provides a number of practical ways to handle difficult thoughts and feelings, including time spent exploring our values and defining what it means to live a rich meaningful life. Unlike a lot of other popular psychological practices, ACT does not have you trying to “get rid of”, “avoid”, “ignore” or “distract” as a way to feel better. Instead, Russ offers practical techniques and strategies that allow for us to build a different kind of relationship with our difficult thoughts, feelings, memories and emotions. He teaches us how to open up and make room for our difficult feelings with a number of different techniques, one of which is “dropping the struggle by using the struggle switch”. This in turn gives our difficult thoughts and feelings less power and control over us thereby reducing their impact. Finding distance from our difficult thoughts also decreases their influence over our life therefore helping us to be present while living towards our values.
He shows us how to use phrases to help us, like naming our thoughts and feelings : “ I am noticing anger”, or “Here is a feeling of irritation showing up” . These are noticing terms, and they are helpful to use when we begin to feel an emotional storm arising within us and when we are needing room
and distance from our emotions going on inside us. This section of the audiobook offers a number of strategies where Russ walks us through chapter by chapter in an easy to follow fashion the various ACT strategies including but not inclusive of grounding techniques, body scans, self-compassion.
The last part of the “Happiness Trap” discusses how we make life meaningful; taking one small step at a time by doing what matters based on our values. Russ encourages us to start small, and he lays out in the chapters that follow practical ways to succeed with implementing accomplishable goals that align with our values one small step at a time. He looks at hard barriers that get in life’s way, bad habits that are hard to break, and how to create flexibility with our “rules” that keep us from thriving while learning to accept and handle life’s setbacks. Throughout the book, Russ brings to our awareness the importance of and the practice of self-compassion, a key and necessary component of ACT.
As a family counsellor, but more importantly as a fellow human, I really enjoyed listening to this content and found the content practical and easy to to implement into my own life. I feel the strategies and content within this audiobook would be helpful to others and would highly recommend you give it a listen. Properly applied, it’s a first step towards living a value-rich life where our values guide our behavior while better understanding the why behind the thoughts and feelings that often get in our way.
After all … we are only human.
Resources:
“The Happiness Trap (2nd Edition)” is available on Amazon.ca in both Audiobook
and book format
Russ gives full access to “The Happiness Trap”: Extra Bits which allows for the
reader to tap into the worksheets and audio recordings of all his techniques
throughout the book. https://thehappinesstrap.com/free-resources/
Russ Harris welcomes readers and listeners to joining the Happiness Trap Online
Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1880045398677806
For Counsellors or other mental health professionals looking to become more
familiar with ACT, I recommend “ACT Made Simple (2nd Edition, 2019)” by Russ
Harris.
For School or Community Counsellors, teachers or health professionals working with
teens and looking for ACT approaches, I would also recommend “The Thriving
Adolescent: Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Positive Psychology to
Help Teens Manage Emotions, Achieve Goals, and Build Connection” by Louise
Hayes and Joseph Ciarrochi (2015)
About the Author
