Today is December 13th. In the last few weeks I have received more phone calls than in the full month prior. Christmas time is a time of stress for many – people stressed for time, for energy, for finances, for family dynamics, for grief and loss…you name it, we’re stressed about it! Socially we receive messages that Christmas is meant to be joyful and wonderful in every way. And yet, from the counsellor’s chair, I hear a very different tale from each client I spend time with during the holiday season. I hear stories of sadness: first Christmas without a spouse, a parent, a loved one. I hear stories of worry: how to pay for gifts, being roped into cooking for 20, having to sit through dinner with relatives one might rather not be related to. I hear stories of hopelessness and desperation, of those who do not have a place to sleep on Christmas eve, or have nothing but canned tuna to offer their children as Christmas dinner. Even for families with a roof over their heads, food on the table, and plenty to be thankful for – many find themselves dreading the holidays simply due to the stress of kids being home, and the many, many obligations that come with Christmas. And yet, ’tis the season to be jolly…right?
Let’s face it, Christmas is not all it’s cracked up to be. It is full of ranting raving lunatics in the mall parking lot, crazy mom’s fighting over the last of whatever the fad toy is this year, and a lineup of men out shopping on December 24th. But if Christmas is supposed to be merry, why isn’t it?? Perhaps the better question is, if we want Christmas to be merry again, how do we make it be that way? I think we often hope that things will magically fall into place – a Christmas miracle perhaps. But what if we consciously and deliberately created the Christmas haven we all long for? What would it be like if we let go of some of the holiday “have to’s” and embrace more of the holiday “want to’s”? I was so proud of myself this year – I was done all of my Christmas shopping by mid-November. What a wonderful relief it was to have it done so early. And yet I recently spent an entire weekend being a sweaty crazy person while racing around my kitchen baking a million treats for people who are just going to go home and complain about being given a bag of calories while they’re on a diet. Why do I do that? Is there not a less labour intensive way of bringing joy to others while leaving time for myself? Of course there is!
This Christmas I invite you to challenge the norm of our hustling, bustling Christmas traditions. I challenge you to sit in front of a cozy fire and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows floating in it (a guilty pleasure of mine). I invite you to buy yourself a new pair of cozy PJ’s or slippers while you’re out doing for everyone else. I dare you to put yourself first, even just once. Go build a snowman, make a snow angel, or go tabogganning. Eat other people’s Christmas baking without feeling guilty or thinking about your New Year’s diet. Could Chinese to-go be your family’s new Christmas dinner tradition? Ok, that might be pushing it, but I’d choose Chinese over turkey any day!! The point is, rather than remain entrenched in your annual Christmas patterns that have yielded stress in the past, consider thinking about Christmas differently and then do something to make it different. If we want to make things different, we must be intentional – it is in this way that we can grow. change. live. thrive. at Christmas, and all year ’round.
May I take this opportunity to personally wish you a very Merry Christmas.
grow. change. live.thrive.About the Author
