New parents are likely to experience some anxiety. When parents are now suddenly responsible for another human being it is difficult to know if they are eating enough, sleeping enough, pooping enough or gaining enough weight. Every little thing can seem like a big deal when you are a new parent.
Generally, anxiety around parenting decreases as everyone settles into their new roles and become more confident in their decisions about parenting style. However, when anxiety does not decrease, and parents experience physical symptoms including racing heart, difficulty breathing or irrational thoughts this may be parenting anxiety.
Parenting Anxiety
Just about every parenting skill or decision can become stalled by anxiety. Excessive worry about whether baby is/kids are,
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Forming healthy attachments
- Spending too much time with friends
- Reaching developmental milestones
- Getting good grades
- Making friends
- Learning life skills
While there is a certain amount of “worry” that is normal around parenting, when you are crippled by decision making or lay awake at night wondering about your parenting decisions, you may be experiencing more than typical worry. When parenting anxiety strikes, it prevents you from being the kind of parent you desire to be. It can also enhance feelings of guilt and shame and translate into difficulties not only in parenting but also within ones own sense of self. It is important to know the signs and symptoms and work to get support to prevent anxiety from negatively impacting you and your family long-term.
How to Cope
To start to address anxiety related to parenting, here are a few things that can help:
- Talk to your spouse/partner or a close safe person. Brainstorm ideas together to address your concerns, or just use it as a place to vent. Use “I statements” to express your frustrations or explore what is really bothering you under the behavior of the child.
- Talk to other parents. ALL parents worry about different aspects of parenting. Find your tribe and gain support from them. You are not alone.
- Take care of yourself. You cannot care well for others if you do not care for yourself well. The dishes, laundry and emails can wait. Take a few moments, EVERY DAY, to care for yourself. This may mean asking for help.
- Seek professional help. Talk to a counsellor, a doctor, or a pediatrician. Normalize your fears and realize that you are doing your very best. Get support to address personal issues that are likely to increase anxiety.
Above all remember that YOU are the best parent for you child. You were created to be the unique parent that is perfect for your unique child.
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