You know those significant events in your life that become that reference point for everything else? Like, “that happened after the accident?”, or “before I got married”, or “after the move”? I recall a time when the start of summer was defined by the weather, or the fact that there’s an official date on the calendar that indicates it has officially arrived, but that was “before having kids”. Now, every year around early May, when I’m reminded that I don’t get 2.5 months off like the kids do, and drastically revised childcare arrangements don’t happen by themselves, I know – Summer is coming. My kids aren’t little – they’ve been in school for years – so it’s not like I should be surprised by this each May, but I am. Every. Year.
May’s annual epiphany doesn’t end there though – what follows is a significant increase in parent-involved school events, including evening concerts, registration paperwork for next year, thank you cards for the teachers and staff, all day “extra special, you can’t miss this one, mom” field trips, house/van hunts for those missing library books (which for us, typically resorts to cheque writing to cover the cost of the books we couldn’t find), and frantic planning for “special” memory-building activities your kids will thank you for when they’re adults. And then it hits – the last day of school arrives, and it’s time to switch gears.
For the longest time, I thought it was just me feeling caught of guard and under the gun. But then I started hearing people say out loud, what I was thinking: How much time can I manage to take off without getting fired? How do I entertain bored children when the excitement of the idea of summer wears off and the whining and sibling fights kick in? How will I keep it together when my child asked for the 100th time, “why do I have to go to bed when it’s still light out?”. I also heard people saying things like “I can’t wait until I don’t have to force my children to be dressed and fed before the morning school bell”, “it’s almost ‘no lunch packing season’!” and “finally! I don’t need to care about their bedtime”.
Transitioning to summertime might mean it’s a move toward an easier routine, or maybe it’s to a more challenging one (and sometimes what’s easier for us, turns out to be a challenge for our kids!). Either way, it’s a transition, and it can help to be prepared.
Here are a few tips that might make that transition more smooth:
1. Find a balance between routine and flexibility
Structure is important for most people, to some degree, so don’t be afraid to set a basic routine for the kids. Writing it down helps kids track time better, and see what’s coming up and what’s been done. Reserve some days for family “down time”, allowing for flexibility and spontaneity. Each day our kids are home and there’s no major activity planned, we include the following on their charts, which need to be done before screens can be used: 30 min of reading/puzzling, 60 min of physical activity, make something creative with your hands, 1 thing to help a family member, journal/write/draw 1 page worth.
Try to keep some things the same, like bedtime routines and meal times, otherwise you might have overtired kids on your hands. And let the kids reach boredom – it’s painful at first, but so important for kids because that’s when they become most creative.
2. Include your kids in the planning
Before summer arrives, have a family meeting and ask each person to contribute 3 ideas of what the family could do together during the summer. I have a weakness for lists. Even really young kids can share in the fun. Let them get creative with it. Select the most workable idea from each person, and plug it into your family calendar.
3. Build in supports
This sounds very “official”, but really, it’s thinking ahead about your needs and planning accordingly. It might mean reaching out for playdates for your kids, scheduling in some self care time, or making sure you’re pacing yourself with activities, etc. Don’t set yourself (and your kids) up for a stressful, overpacked, summer. Spread things out.
4. Remember: it’s temporary – this too, shall pass!
Don’t forget – the summer routine is only 2.5 months – this might be good news for some, bad news for others. When mid August arrives, it’s time to transition back, requiring back to school shopping, prepping lunches, and helping our kiddos get in the mindset for classroom learning. In the meantime, let your kids get dirty and stay dirty (lower your cleaning bar substantially and use waterparks to hose them down), and have fun!
See you at the playground!
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